Aloha sweet friends. Sending out cosmic waves of aloha rainbow bliss across the ocean of Peace straight into your heart chakra! I just finished making some awesomely spicy raw chocolate and I'm jacked enough on caffeine to finally get back into this blog. I'm setting the intention right now to share my heart wanderings with you more often than I have been in past months. I recognize that I often take way too much time trying to carefully articulate my thoughts in order to share them and it slows the flow. One of the patterns I've been working to shift lately is my challenge with speaking my truth in the moment when it matters most, rather than hours or days later. This NOW moment is it. We have to honor and love ourselves enough to speak our truth, regardless of how it might be received by others. So, I'm going to apply that with this blog starting now.
This past month I have been in quite the funk. I came back to Maui after spending 3 weeks in LA where I was blessed to hold space for a new spiritual center that opened in the heart of Venice Beach. When I came back to the island I was very fortunate to have a friend who needed a house sitter and so, for the first time in almost a year I have a living space all to myself. I hadn't realized how little alone time I've had this past year and of course, that set the stage for some deep fears to creep up that I had been putting off dealing with.
Fear is such an interesting concept. It is a mental construct that we create that is based in complete illusion! There is nothing to fear, for LOVE is all there is! And yet, it feels so completely real when it has its tight grip on our minds- wreaking havoc on our energetic and physical bodies. This month the fear that I've been working to release is the fear of being attacked. Being home by myself has not been easy. When I was a child burglars broke into my home and held me and my parents at gun point for hours on end until they finally assaulted my dad and then fled. This, combined with some abuse I endured in early childhood has haunted me my whole life. Needless to say, it has been a challenge to feel comfortable being home alone at night. Of course, when I am travelling my walls tend to go up and strangely enough I have a much easier time relaxing. But when I am stationed in one place for long enough, those walls start to dissolve and I am confronted once again with this pressing issue.
I say this because I believe it has been a huge block in my life that I haven't wanted to deal with until now. So I started to really look at it. What would happen if someone were to break in my house now? How would I respond? I believe I have incarnated many times on this planet and so I see death as a beautiful transition in returning home. So at the very worst someone breaks in, attacks me and takes my life. Well, I believe my soul will choose when it is ready to take that magical carpet ride and so even if this scenario did happen, it would be of my creation, and I completely trust the guidance of my soul to navigate this Earth plane in whichever way is for my highest good and evolution. So what is there to really fear? Nothing. I realize that I've been ignoring dealing with this my whole life but now that I've finally turned to face it- it's gone. I had this awakening one night before bed and when I drifted off to sleep, I had a very powerful lucid dream that helped me to really know just how I would respond. In my dream I awoke to find a white dog (which is symbolic for Guardian, of which I know I have many in the angelic realms) standing above me and I jumped up startled. I led the dog outside and then ran up the stairs to talk to my sister (of which I have none). I could hear her singing in the bathroom and as I hit the top of the stairs I ran into a man who was about to enter the bathroom and attack my unsuspecting sister. Normally, I would have woken up immediately in a dream like this, but now I was able to confront the man in a stern voice and tell him to leave and I yelled for my brother to bring the dogs for protection. The man backed down and the dream was over. I woke up, heart pounding, and thanked myself and my psyche for doing such a great job at managing my fear, and grateful I could clear it in dreamland rather than having to physically manifest the situation in order to confront it. Wow, hard to believe it has taken me more than 30 years to create this peace for myself. But every experience builds upon the last and until now I did not have the tools in my belt to handle a job of this magnitude.
I thank Great Spirit for allowing me to move forward now in my life so that I may continue to expand and express my love in the myriad of ways that bring me so much joy. LOVE is my truth and I KNOW as long as I live in accordance with love rather than fear, I will always thrive. Jah bless.
This past month I have been in quite the funk. I came back to Maui after spending 3 weeks in LA where I was blessed to hold space for a new spiritual center that opened in the heart of Venice Beach. When I came back to the island I was very fortunate to have a friend who needed a house sitter and so, for the first time in almost a year I have a living space all to myself. I hadn't realized how little alone time I've had this past year and of course, that set the stage for some deep fears to creep up that I had been putting off dealing with.
Fear is such an interesting concept. It is a mental construct that we create that is based in complete illusion! There is nothing to fear, for LOVE is all there is! And yet, it feels so completely real when it has its tight grip on our minds- wreaking havoc on our energetic and physical bodies. This month the fear that I've been working to release is the fear of being attacked. Being home by myself has not been easy. When I was a child burglars broke into my home and held me and my parents at gun point for hours on end until they finally assaulted my dad and then fled. This, combined with some abuse I endured in early childhood has haunted me my whole life. Needless to say, it has been a challenge to feel comfortable being home alone at night. Of course, when I am travelling my walls tend to go up and strangely enough I have a much easier time relaxing. But when I am stationed in one place for long enough, those walls start to dissolve and I am confronted once again with this pressing issue.
I say this because I believe it has been a huge block in my life that I haven't wanted to deal with until now. So I started to really look at it. What would happen if someone were to break in my house now? How would I respond? I believe I have incarnated many times on this planet and so I see death as a beautiful transition in returning home. So at the very worst someone breaks in, attacks me and takes my life. Well, I believe my soul will choose when it is ready to take that magical carpet ride and so even if this scenario did happen, it would be of my creation, and I completely trust the guidance of my soul to navigate this Earth plane in whichever way is for my highest good and evolution. So what is there to really fear? Nothing. I realize that I've been ignoring dealing with this my whole life but now that I've finally turned to face it- it's gone. I had this awakening one night before bed and when I drifted off to sleep, I had a very powerful lucid dream that helped me to really know just how I would respond. In my dream I awoke to find a white dog (which is symbolic for Guardian, of which I know I have many in the angelic realms) standing above me and I jumped up startled. I led the dog outside and then ran up the stairs to talk to my sister (of which I have none). I could hear her singing in the bathroom and as I hit the top of the stairs I ran into a man who was about to enter the bathroom and attack my unsuspecting sister. Normally, I would have woken up immediately in a dream like this, but now I was able to confront the man in a stern voice and tell him to leave and I yelled for my brother to bring the dogs for protection. The man backed down and the dream was over. I woke up, heart pounding, and thanked myself and my psyche for doing such a great job at managing my fear, and grateful I could clear it in dreamland rather than having to physically manifest the situation in order to confront it. Wow, hard to believe it has taken me more than 30 years to create this peace for myself. But every experience builds upon the last and until now I did not have the tools in my belt to handle a job of this magnitude.
I thank Great Spirit for allowing me to move forward now in my life so that I may continue to expand and express my love in the myriad of ways that bring me so much joy. LOVE is my truth and I KNOW as long as I live in accordance with love rather than fear, I will always thrive. Jah bless.
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