Wow. What a process this last month and a half has been of letting go and surrendering to my Divine purpose- which continues to only be shown to me in flashes of nanosecond lengths. I have purged most of my material possessions- I am down to some books, clothes and my prize crystals and singing bowl, along with a few miscellaneous art supplies. I have never felt so raw and exposed to the world. My layers of comfort are dissolving rapidly from one day to the next. I have $6 in my pocket and have had very little luck finding work lately. Were it not for the generosity and hospitality of a couple friends I would be in a very different position, as I have no vehicle and no income stream.
The energy has been very intense with the full moon on 6/4 and the transit of Venus eclipsing the sun on 6/5. I, along with almost everyone I've talked with recently, have felt like a total looney bird. It feels like we are being pulled, squeezed and compressed through a tiny gateway into the next portal of consciousness. It has been an intense and highly emotional time. From one hour to the next my moods fluctuate from high vibration where I feel the magic and love of Source so fully and intimately that my heart sings out in joy and gratitude, to feeling overwhelmed with the enormity of my daydreams and perceived responsibility to share my light, in essence a judgment of myself for perhaps not doing all I think I should be. I tear up and cry at random moments and sometimes just feel like stomping on the floor in a fury of tantrum. I know that I am healing from many lifetimes of pain and suffering and I have chosen to be here at this time in order to experience this planetary shift in evolutionary consciousness. I consistently remind myself that I am clearing out the old patterns of stuck energy in order to make room in my vessel for the maximum amount of light possible. This is a time for healing on multiple levels and dimensions. My etheric body and my physical body are aligning and showing myself the utmost love and forgiveness is the easiest way to help this transformation take place.
Surrendering to my Divine plan is easy to grasp theoretically but, has been pretty difficult to put into practice. For years I have had grandiose visions of starting farms around the country that teach job skills to the homeless, where there is a community kitchen so no one goes hungry. I've dreamt of learning to sail so that I could charter boats to take people to commune with the dolphins and whales. I've brainstormed and toiled with starting a vegan ice cream company with fresh tropical fruits, where for every cone sold I donate one at the children's hospital. I fantasize about all the art I want to create from recycled materials I find washed up on the beach, or altars and medicine wheels I want to build from live and dried plant and mineral matter. I think about learning natural building skills in order to create sustainable communities where people can live in their joy. I get excited thinking about creating venues or outlets for ecstatic dance to take place. I want to continue with my woodwork- visions in my meditations have clearly pointed to building hand planes and surfboards, and continuing with the line of skateboards I started. To balance that I want to plant trees. I dream of having a space to practice energy medicine and continue my ethnobotanical studies. And I fancy doing all of this while living part of the year in Maui and who knows where the rest of the year. I want to travel and see the world but I want to do it while following the flow of energy. And most importantly I want the basis of all of the above mentioned dreams to be in service to others. I've learned that I am only truly fulfilled when I am opening my heart and connecting to others through giving. My biggest quandary right now though is which dream to start with and knowing where my energy will be best utilized. My head is buzzing with ideas and yet I am so overstimulated and inspired that I can't feel in which direction my heart is tugging me. I am afraid that my lack of resources will prevent me from making progress even once I do figure it out and, yet instinctively I know that once I fully let go and stop worrying about what I don't have and focus my intent on what I do have, the energy will start to flow to provide me with what is in alignment with my highest good.
So, my objective now is to still myself more and refine my subtle energy so that I may recognize where the doors are opening before me, and so that I can continue to create my vision of heaven here on earth. I affirm Divine timing in my life and trust that by staying in my joy and continuing to honor and love myself fully, I will continue to attract experiences and opportunities of the highest vibration. I open my entire being to be flooded with light and love so that I may continue to radiate that love outward to all of you. I am filled with gratitude simply to be alive. I know the veils are rapidly deteriorating and that I have a choice in how I perceive this reality. Thank you to everyone reading this for your love and support. Shine on bright stars...
The energy has been very intense with the full moon on 6/4 and the transit of Venus eclipsing the sun on 6/5. I, along with almost everyone I've talked with recently, have felt like a total looney bird. It feels like we are being pulled, squeezed and compressed through a tiny gateway into the next portal of consciousness. It has been an intense and highly emotional time. From one hour to the next my moods fluctuate from high vibration where I feel the magic and love of Source so fully and intimately that my heart sings out in joy and gratitude, to feeling overwhelmed with the enormity of my daydreams and perceived responsibility to share my light, in essence a judgment of myself for perhaps not doing all I think I should be. I tear up and cry at random moments and sometimes just feel like stomping on the floor in a fury of tantrum. I know that I am healing from many lifetimes of pain and suffering and I have chosen to be here at this time in order to experience this planetary shift in evolutionary consciousness. I consistently remind myself that I am clearing out the old patterns of stuck energy in order to make room in my vessel for the maximum amount of light possible. This is a time for healing on multiple levels and dimensions. My etheric body and my physical body are aligning and showing myself the utmost love and forgiveness is the easiest way to help this transformation take place.
Surrendering to my Divine plan is easy to grasp theoretically but, has been pretty difficult to put into practice. For years I have had grandiose visions of starting farms around the country that teach job skills to the homeless, where there is a community kitchen so no one goes hungry. I've dreamt of learning to sail so that I could charter boats to take people to commune with the dolphins and whales. I've brainstormed and toiled with starting a vegan ice cream company with fresh tropical fruits, where for every cone sold I donate one at the children's hospital. I fantasize about all the art I want to create from recycled materials I find washed up on the beach, or altars and medicine wheels I want to build from live and dried plant and mineral matter. I think about learning natural building skills in order to create sustainable communities where people can live in their joy. I get excited thinking about creating venues or outlets for ecstatic dance to take place. I want to continue with my woodwork- visions in my meditations have clearly pointed to building hand planes and surfboards, and continuing with the line of skateboards I started. To balance that I want to plant trees. I dream of having a space to practice energy medicine and continue my ethnobotanical studies. And I fancy doing all of this while living part of the year in Maui and who knows where the rest of the year. I want to travel and see the world but I want to do it while following the flow of energy. And most importantly I want the basis of all of the above mentioned dreams to be in service to others. I've learned that I am only truly fulfilled when I am opening my heart and connecting to others through giving. My biggest quandary right now though is which dream to start with and knowing where my energy will be best utilized. My head is buzzing with ideas and yet I am so overstimulated and inspired that I can't feel in which direction my heart is tugging me. I am afraid that my lack of resources will prevent me from making progress even once I do figure it out and, yet instinctively I know that once I fully let go and stop worrying about what I don't have and focus my intent on what I do have, the energy will start to flow to provide me with what is in alignment with my highest good.
So, my objective now is to still myself more and refine my subtle energy so that I may recognize where the doors are opening before me, and so that I can continue to create my vision of heaven here on earth. I affirm Divine timing in my life and trust that by staying in my joy and continuing to honor and love myself fully, I will continue to attract experiences and opportunities of the highest vibration. I open my entire being to be flooded with light and love so that I may continue to radiate that love outward to all of you. I am filled with gratitude simply to be alive. I know the veils are rapidly deteriorating and that I have a choice in how I perceive this reality. Thank you to everyone reading this for your love and support. Shine on bright stars...
you are a talented writer Mandy, keep it up and share it with the world
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